


Soft light and Sweet Dreams

by ReikoMatsuki



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Character Death, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, References to Depression, sad stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 22:19:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13109649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReikoMatsuki/pseuds/ReikoMatsuki
Summary: Hanzo follows Genji to Gibraltar and meets Jesse. He's immediately taken by him and tries to keep his feelings at bay to no avail.





	Soft light and Sweet Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> So, I posted this on Tumblr a while ago and couple people liked it. My friend told me I should post it here to so here we are. This was inspired by two people and fueled by the encouragement of another. I have no clue how to link things yet since this is my first work on here so I'd really appreciate if someone could tell me. Also, criticisms are welcome. Enjoy!

It had been a few months, almost a year, since Hanzo followed his brother to the watchpoint Gibraltar. He expected his brother and a rundown watchpoint embedded in a cliff in Spain. What surprised him was that his brother lived there. And he lived there with a ragtag group that called each other family.

He stared at the group as they suddenly and wholly welcomed him. A small Korean girl, Hana, a hyper Brazilian man, Lucio, and a quick British woman, Lena, immediately overwhelmed him with positivity and smiles. Smiles that faltered when he told them his stay wouldn’t be permanent.

He met everyone that day. All names and faces stored in his memory. Filed away for later. One, however, stayed at the forefront of his mind.

Jesse McCree.

Outwardly friendly and humble. Deceivingly so for he had quite a sense of humor. Accompanying that personality, and his ridiculous old west attire, there was something alluring about him. He called it his “Southern Charm” but no matter the name, it was infuriatingly attractive. His accent and sun-kissed skin were sexier than sin and it drew Hanzo even closer to the man. This sturdy, pure-hearted man pierced the armor he put around his own heart as if Jesse was the archer.

A small prick of fear stabbed through him the same way. Worry followed after. He knew he didn’t want to stay and didn’t want any attachments. So he pulled himself together and readjusted his armor. Made it stronger and silently challenged the man to do it again.

He rejected his feelings and McCree’s efforts at friendship with short, stinging quips and monosyllabic grunts. But only to protect them both.

When Jesse commented on the Sake Hanzo liked to drink, he was scoffed at. After practice, or sometimes during, McCree would compliment his bowmanship. He only received a quick hum for his efforts. Even though his rudeness was apparent, Jesse handed out patience at a rate that Hanzo felt he didn’t deserve.

Despite his unfriendly disposition, Jesse stuck around him most days. They quickly became drinking buddies and training partners. Sometimes at the same time. Until Jesse took an arrow to the forearm and Hanzo took a bullet to the calf. Then Angela prohibited drinking in the shooting range.

Hanzo did talk to other members of overwatch and was quite fond of his brother’s master. The omnic seemed to radiate harmony and Hanzo felt soothed when conversing with him. Genji joined most of the time and others would occasionally pop in and out. Genji and Hanzo would discuss their past, gently glancing the mention of what had happened between them and the clan.

One night, after staying on the watchpoint for a good three months and a long unsuccessful talk with Genji about that night years ago, Hanzo found himself drinking on the edge of the cliff, staring out into the ocean.

Hanzo rubbed his face of tears he hadn’t cried for hours and took another swig of Sake. Alcohol warms from the inside out but always leaves you feeling cold again. So he drank more, trying to fight the nightly breeze. The sound of spurs approached from his left and stopped a comfortable distance away.

“Howdy, Hanzo.” came the soft greeting, “This seat taken?” he attempted, gesturing towards the ground.

He was only met with silence.

Despite no response, he sat anyway. One leg folded up and one gently hanging off the edge. Multiple moments and glances in Hanzo’s direction pass before he finally opens his mouth to speak.

“Hanzo, I know it ain’t none of my business but-”

“You are correct. It is none of your business.” he bit back.

“-but this can’t be ignored. I know your brother. I’ve known him for years. He’s forgiven you, Hanzo!” he rose his voice, only slightly, but it upset Hanzo’s alcohol addled brain.

“Don’t you think I know that? I know he forgives me! He told me himself! I don’t need to hear it from some drunken cowboy that has no business in my affairs.”

Jesse wasn’t mad. Hanzo didn’t think he’d ever seen him mad. But he nodded his head as if confirming a suspicion he had been pondering for awhile and let the silence build for a moment. Hanzo wished he would just open his mouth already. Silence plagued him for too long to feel comfortable with it now. Especially with Jesse.

Finally, spoke, “You have to forgive yourself as well, darlin’. It ain’t healthy to be angry when you look in the mirror. I would know. I’ve felt my fair share of shame, anger, betrayal… abandonment. You name it,” he scooted over and grazed his metal fingertips along Hanzo’s temple. The cool metal sent a chill down his spine but he kept still, “but you have to learn to love yourself the way you deserve.”

Hanzo’s image of Jesse blurred and he distantly registered the drops of water landing on his hand. Jesse, this wonderful man, had all of the answers, didn’t he? And as if he knew what Hanzo needed, he pulled him in for an awkward, sitting embrace. It was endearing nonetheless. Jesse let Hanzo take all the time he needed before softly slipping out of his unsure grip.

“C’mon darlin’,” he whispered, taking the small gourd from Hanzo, “Let’s get you to bed.”

That night, Hanzo realized he loved this ridiculously captivating cowman. Realized that the clan was gone, he could love himself. He could love this man. He could forgive himself as his brother did and, yet again, find harmony in his soul.

It took Hanzo another month before he announced that he was staying as a permanent member of this family, and told his brother privately that he planned to woo the cowboy. Both parties deemed a celebration was in order.

Three hours after sipping on tea and eating a feast of epic proportions in the common area, procured by the ever kind Reinhardt, he worked up the courage to pull Jesse aside. Though he almost stumbled twice and his face felt warm enough to boil the tea in his hands, he was able to get through his proposal of a “partnership of sorts”. Of course, Jesse was confused.

“Partnership? You mean for missions?” he asked innocently.

“No. I mean closer to a… domestic partnership.” Hanzo elaborated. Jesse stared at him for a good twenty seconds that felt closer to twenty years.

“Darlin’, are you asking me to be your boyfriend?” he asked, holding his sweet tea up to cover his smile.

Hanzo looked off to the side casually so he didn’t have to meet Jesse’s eyes, “Yes.”

Jesse took off his hat and looked flushed himself, “Aw hell, darlin’. You got me warmer than a patch of grass in the sun. But,” he brushed back some of Hanzo’s hair from his cheek, “I would be honored to be with you, Sugar.”

Hanzo let himself smile. Small as it was, it blinded Jesse and he couldn’t help but press his forehead to Hanzo’s and just laugh for a moment. Hanzo joined him.

Seven months later, here they were Late July was upon them and so was the heat again. They were down by the local shops searching for knick-knacks to liven up the new room Jesse talked Winston into giving them. Hanzo and Jesse had been sharing a room for five months. The cramped, one person bunk was a bit too much for both bare on most nights, even with two fans on them.

Their room was one of the old commanders’ room and it looked like it too. Gray and dusty, like no one went in there for ages. The desk littered with old Overwatch papers and a slightly outdated computer, but only by a few years. The room was bare, save for the essentials.

Jesse demanded that, while the sheets were in the wash, and the dusting had been done, that they go find something fun to put in there. Hanzo covered his snort with his hand and agreed.

They weren’t able to find much other than two beautiful blue cloths to put on the nightstand, a ceramic cactus that was far too large, a radio, and a painting of a water lily. Jesse picked out white curtains and tore out the blinds. Hanzo counted aloud how many times they both sneezed cleaning out their new room and lost count after 79.

As the sun was setting, they finished their project. It felt like a home. It was also about twenty degrees cooler, so that was a plus. After a drink or two, they decided to give their new bed a test run. Hanzo is half sure it almost broke.

Soft music played through the room as Hanzo listened to Jesse’s heartbeat. Steady breaths ruffled Hanzo’s bangs and brought him a peace he hadn’t felt in years.

“Jesse?” he chanced, not knowing if he would still be awake after that performance.

“Yeah Han-y bee?” came the rumbly reply.

“I love you.” he heard his heart beat harder against his ribs.

“Oh, darlin’. I love you more than you know.” his hand slid around to lift Hanzo’s chin. “You’re the best damn thing that’s ever happened to me.”

They shared a kiss that took Hanzo’s breath away although it was rather tame.

“Marry me, Hanzo?” He spoke with a sincerity he hardly ever held on his face or in his words.

He found it. His happiness. His peace. His love.

“Yes.”

They kissed again.

Not long after that, they got word of an increase of Talon activity in Greece. They were scouring the ruins for something. Winston put together a rushed mission to stop them from finding whatever it was they so desperately needed. Hanzo and Jesse were on the list of operatives that were to head in. 

Hanzo wishes he could remember exactly what happened but he couldn’t. A head injury. Caused when an entire section of the ruins came crashing down on him. And Jesse. He was out for months.

Angela was the one to bare the bad news. The only one allowed by his side was Genji who held his hand during. And held him after. While his body shuddered with the power of the sobs he couldn’t stop. Tears made tracks down his face. And he distantly registered that they were landing on his hands.

After a few moments to calm his crying, he was given the only things left of Jesse. A red serape and his hat. They let him go back to his room after one last check.

Genji tucked him in like he was a child and placed the serape over Hanzo’s covers. The hat was placed on Jesse’s pillow. And Hanzo was left to mourn. When mourning became too tiring, he closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, Jesse was there. One cheek pressed against the pillow and a smile on his perfect lips. Sunlight streamed in passed the open white curtains and created a halo of gold around him.

“Hey there, sleepyhead.” his voice rang like bells. It was melodic and beautiful.

“Jesse…?” that one word wavered in his throat. He lifted his head and Jesse placed a metal hand on his cheek.

“Wasn’t gonna let you wake up alone, darlin’. Gotta kiss those eyes…” soft kisses were placed on his eyelids that held back tears, but only just. Jesse pulled back. Hanzo tried to reach for him but his hand wouldn’t move forward far enough.

“Jesse…” his image blurred.

“Wait…” he couldn’t feel his warmth anymore.

“Don’t go…” the sun was gone.

And he woke up.

“Come back…” Tears fell from his face. His hand was outstretched for Jesse who he knew wouldn’t be there.

It’s another month after he woke up. These dreams haunt him every night. A tease of Jesse. Just a glance every time he closes his eyes. So he closes them as often as he’s allowed. Everyone visits. His brother almost as much as Angela. Sometimes together.

Today is better than the last and he’s convinced of getting up and taking a walk by Genji. They walk around the track once before Hanzo would prefer his bed again. Genji relents after a few attempts at convincing him to get more sunshine. His brother leads him back to his room and is only gone for a few minutes before the alarms sound.

Hanzo’s heart pounds in his chest and he wishes he knew where his bow ended up after everything. Athena’s voice cuts through the blaring, “Agents! Talon operatives have infiltrated on the Northside!”

Hanzo simply sits in his room. He’s lost. Not for the first time in his life, he’s lost. He wishes more than anything that Jesse was here. He could fight his way through with Jesse on his side. Without him…

His communicator beeps to life.

“Hanzo!” It’s Genji. “They’re headed your way. Stay in your room. We’ll come get you.”

He doesn’t answer but Genji seems to know that he got the message and disconnects.

All he says is “Let them come.” and wraps Jesse’s serape around his shoulders. He only hopes they’d send him to Jesse. The door opened. And he never expected that they’d send him Jesse. Looking up, he sees the broad shoulders and kind face. Scruffy beard. Tan skin. He was wearing a Talon uniform but Hanzo didn’t think he could find it in himself to care.

“Hanzo,” Jesse spoke. Monotone and bleak but exactly what Hanzo needed. When Hanzo rose, so did Jesse’s gun. But Hanzo still didn’t care. He walked to him quickly, scared he’d fade away if he wasn’t fast enough. Jesse’s eyes followed him along with his new six-shooter.

The embrace was sudden and not very warm. Jesse seemed physically colder than before. Or maybe it was the gun now against his skin.

He pretended the cold metal pressed to his temple was Jesse’s cold, metal fingertips and not the barrel of his gun. Pressed to him the same way it felt in his dream.

He couldn’t help the tears of relief, sorrow, and confusion that swept down his face. What happened to his cowboy? The one who sang him lullabies on sleepless nights and soothed his mind after deep talks with Genji. Every private moment. Every touch. Every kiss. Every word.

He thought Jesse was gone forever. How is he here?

The mechanical way he brushes his hand along his spine brings Hanzo to his senses and he realizes that this is not his Jesse. This is not his love. This is not the man whose smile could warm his icy heart and restart its beat to sync with his.

The leap back was sudden and scared the other Talon members Hanzo hadn’t seen till now. Grunts. Escorts. So Jesse could do this. A smile was painted on Jesse’s perfect lips. A vindictive mimic of the one Hanzo lived for only months ago. And was willing to die for today. Was.

“Jesse… what’s-”

Jesse shushed him and slowly stepped towards him.

“No questions, baby. Just sleep.” the gun was aimed with purpose this time.

“No! Wait!” He reached for Jesse who was just out of reach. “Please don’t! Jesse I-!”

“Goodbye, Hanzo.”

Jesse took his breath away one last time.

He never got to hear the gunshot. Never to ask why or bid his new family and love a farewell. Never got to live the life he wanted with Jesse. His darling Jesse. The man that was his rock. His unwarranted guide in life. His love. His end. The light of the sun was held in those eyes. The eyes that glared at him as the trigger was pulled. Ending his life too soon. Or maybe too late. Jesse wouldn’t mourn him. Couldn’t. Jesse didn’t love him anymore. Couldn’t. The world didn’t fade like Jesse’s image did in his dreams or how it did when he realized he loved him. It simply turned off. And he was no more.


End file.
